The Southern Accent, Lesson 1.

To talk southern, you need to live in the vowels -

“Yall just need t’dway-ell they-a,”

is what I meant to say,

is that the best of life happens in that vast space between the continents,

where you can sail a whole sea, in the word “vi-yast”.

Work on it, until you can say the words “oh no” and convey

the tragedy and objection to circumstance that exists there -

(Lula, we gone haf t’sell) -  “ohhhhh nooooohhh.”

(Justin, the store’s plumb out a Hershey bars) -  “ohhhhh nooooohhh.”

Can you love the land, even when you don’t own any?

Can you love it so much that you love it that other people own it?

Can you love the owners of that land you don’t have?

Then you are on your way, to love that land in between the consonants;

reside there (excuse me - “r’sahhd they-a”), and happily dwell,

trying with all your might to extend your lifetime on the property.  Why, if you just stay there long enough, you might not ever have to leave!

Try ‘there’; or better still, “th’air” - that airy space? Between the continents?  Sprout your wings and fly, and think about visiting the relatives somewhere past ‘r’, but never quite get there. Fly right over that sea you used to sail, and that property you were trying to hang on to, and never come down; almost never; or at least only when you are trying to make a point.

Now, just between you and me? Those consonants?  Remember, when someone hands you a hot consonant, one of your options is to drop it; especially if it’s one of the sharp and prickly ones. 

And travelling there between the continents?  Why, you can trade one vowel for another, shamelessly, just as if you have the best reason in the world: use ‘eye’ wherever others would use “ay”; ‘ah’ where anyone else would use ‘eye’; substitute ‘owe’ for ‘oi’ – but follow the rules, now, the ones you grew up with - just remember your Mama’s voice, for the memory of her sweet voice is a code to live by.  

Feel absolutely free to turn it up and down, on and off – you have your hand firmly on the dial.  And always be soft; just dust those folks with your Martha White flour-words.  And just? Just use the word ‘just’ a whole lot.

Say ‘hey’ instead of ‘hi’.

Say ‘yall’ like you weren’t even thinking about it.

Just go on and live there, like you never want to even think about leaving.
“Hey yall!”